I hate how everything wrong in my life is beyond my control atm

its snowing. lots. its like 10inches outside my house :/ which means i haven't been to college in 2 days. i have an exam i have to work for! >_< my teacher still hasn't emailed me back my UCAS stuff, without which i can;t go to university. at this rate i'm going to miss the UCAS deadline and have to defer for a year >_<

my dads heart keeps slowing down and stopping randomly and the doctors have no clue whats up, so he has to go hospital.

it was the anniversary of my cousins death the other day, family plastering it all over facebook, funtimes. internet keeps going down every 5 minutes, got nothing to do, can't go out.

my mums sunk into a depression 'cause her favourite, my brother, has cut my parents out of his life completely, so isn't talking to her for no reason - because he's being a stubborn child (he's 21), because HE is failing his final year at uni. also she#s depressed because she feels old because she has to have another tooth taken out. and has to go to hospital soon anyway to get better because she can't move her hands.
my house feels like a damn morgue. i can't even sleep through the day because my death nightmares are back.
i can't even see my freakin' boyfriend for a hug about all this because the snow's stopped the trains from running!

oh, i could just talk to my friends about it, right? Wrong.
all through the holidays, my 'best friend' was partying it away, was i ever invited? nay.
oh hey, once. to the pub. when i had no money :/ great.
after moaning at them for 2 months to get a new year party OUR LAST new year together, sorted, they thought of nothing, so i went to a party miles away, just to find out all my friends from here had a party anyway. what the actual hell? and my friend who was adamant she was going to be having a family party, she wouldn't come out at all... went to that party? gee. thankyou. i feel so respected and loved by my own fucking "FRIENDS". cannot be FUCKING BOTHERED.
i had a brilliant time at my party, but still, i'd rather have spent it with my close mates, thanks.

fun festive times. >_< xx



EDIT:
ONTOP OF THAT
my ears infected = supersupersuper painful
and i'm allergic to my bedsheets so my arms+chest+neck+face is all rashy and itchy. YUMMMM. >_<